Hi to the 9th day of 2015

So I'm a little late into the new year but happy new year one and all! Its 2015! Honestly I couldn't even tell you where 2014 was rushing to, the little so and so! 

A lot, well what seems like a lot to me has taken place in just 9 short days. I spent the first 4 days sleeping and recovering. How did you spend yours? Either way I hope you entered the year in style and feeling blessed.

What I have in mind for the year 2015 is just one simple thing: Happiness. I won't call it a resolution but more a solution to life. I have decided that this year is the year I live truly in happiness. 

That means:

-doing things that make me happy

-doing things that reduce the stresses of life

-not living life everyday for the sake of living life, I want to and have to experience life

-I want to feel alive, not just be alive but live

-not living life for other people etc etc etc.

I was going through a lot of stresses at the end of last year. It all started off so well. I finished university, I got a job I enjoyed (the pay check wasn't so bad either), I graduated and was living with my 2 friends who I had so much fun with. And then slowly but surely 2014 started to piss me off. My job was a 45 minute drive away so at this point getting to work was a high priority as you'd expect. However in a space of a month into my job my car decided to completely break down. With no savings, I was lucky enough to have a friend live by me who drove me to and from work for a good month. So when the next pay check came I decided to get what seemed like a nice, cheap, decent car. I was up and running again. However I wasn't running for very long. Less than 3 months later this car also decided to die. At this point I'd had enough, I'd spent way too much money getting cars fixed that really were not helping me. Thinking about it is very frustrating (but it's 2015, I'm not looking to the past, doesn't help anyone, as the saying goes; don't cry over spilt milk). So I decided well I need to get to work somehow so I'm gonna have to get the train. And so it's been up until now.

The early dark wet winter mornings, the icy pavements of the winter nights leftovers and the endless expenditures at some point get too much when you have plans; plans to travel and actually enjoy yourself with your wages. 

And so 2015 came. I wasn't feeling happy and I had to start feeling happy. To me the only way I could do this was if I made a big decision to move back home, leave my well paying job to start again. My main goal was to save. Although I had a well paying job, I wasn't saving, I couldn't save. And to be honest I just wasn't happy with that.

Money can't buy happiness as it goes. So I made the big decision to leave my current job. A hard decision but my gut instinct felt it was right. As soon as I handed in my notice I felt slightly liberated. 

Between making this decision, I had no other jobs lined, I just knew I wanted to move home, something will come up , it has to. For me this was a big step towards feeling happier. That set the tone for my year, do what makes you happy. If you're not happy with something try and fix it and so I actively had to fix my problem.

It is now the 4th of February 2015 and this is now when I'm posting this. Lazy anyone?

Update: I was offered a job in the hospital 10minutes walking distance from my house in Bristol and I couldn't be happier just to have a job to go back to. So as I post this I have one and a half days left in my current job before I'm off for a month and due to start my new job in early March. Wish me luck. Go after yours.

I'll keep you posted. 

Kosapo y'all.

Parents: Remember what they and life teach you

I was just scrolling through facebook as you do on a page called Humans of New York after a very lazy day of self pity after a night out. And I was touched by some of the stuff I was reading. More so to the point of tears. These were  tears of sadness. People who know me know that it's not easy to get a tear out of me. But for missing him, I'll cry. My dad. My strong, loving dad. He past away 11 days before his 46th birthday and 12 days before my 10th birthday. I remember the time I heard the news and how so sudden it was. It hurts whenever I think about it. It hurts. 

Whats the greatest thing he ever taught me? Sadly I don't know exactly. Some of my childhood memories are a bit of a blur but I do have some many memories I could share with you and maybe in that I'll discover something he taught me. He was always so proud of his children. And us of him. So protective, loving and caring. For that I loved him. If I can put memory and memory together I'd say something that he taught me and possibly what I could live by is just to have strength and confidence in yourself and to enjoy life cos sadly it's clearly just not long enough and you just never know what will happen. Live today like it's your last I've heard before. And do you know what, the love and the 'caring-ness' he showed us is something I will do for my children if I ever have them. That. That is something he taught me. Not in so many words, but through action. He probably didn't know at that time that that he was teaching me something. But 11 years later I'm sitting here and I remember that. Thank you dad. And also if you're naughty you'll be in great trouble. You never wanted to be in trouble with my father!

Parents go through a crazy amount for their kids. I can happily say this because my mum is the perfect example of this. I'll never be able to thank her enough. We have so many of our moments, mainly because I've grown up and have a mind of my own but beneath all that is everything she has done and still does for her children. I realise I do sometimes take advantage but after this maybe I really shouldn't. 

You should at some point be able to answer some of these questions?

What's the greatest thing your mum ever taught you?

What's the greatest thing your dad ever taught you?

What is your best memory with your parents?

If you can't well then atleast spend some quality time with them if you should be so blessed to still have them in your life. But of course families are not always perfect but if you can you should. Cherish the moments. 

Only when you're older do you realise like okay fine they were right.

Happy Friday.

Easily distracted, Easily impressed, Easily amused.

It's raining. My room is a mess but it feels great. The rain hitting hard against my window just makes everything inside just so cosy. Like I am in the safest place I could be right now. Right this minute. And then I remember I just have so much to do. First clean my messy room, (others might not agree with what is messy to me and what is messy to them but let's just say I may have a slight case of healthy OCD), Then rearrange the thoughts and billion things going on in my mind. Oh wait something else just popped up in my head. My mind is a chaotic mess of imagintion. So easily distracted. That's me. (oh by the way, I just got distracted for a good 5 minutes just then while reading another blog). Right. I'm back. For now.

Distractions. Like staring at the the permanent dimples on that guys face enough to make sure I pour alcohol or sugar syrup down my arm as I work my friday night shift at the nightclub. Or my crazy obsession for an incredible set of teeth setting up for a great smile aimed at me...that's a lie the smile may not be aimed at me but I glare regardless. In that moment I am distracted, very distracted and will be for the next few minutes. Excuse me while I rearrange my thoughts. Ah.

But what if we all took an all important moment to focus our thoughts. What could we possibly come up with? What could we be on to? I'm not saying you are going to come up with the next genius idea like Bill Gates did with Microsoft or Richard Branson did with Virgin but I'm not saying you can't either. That I don't have the answer for. But I swear we could be a bit more mind free if we tried this. But maybe it's easier said than done right. But there are times when we just need to go with our thoughts/mind. When to do this is a question for oneself.

Easily impressed. That person you didn't know so well at school is all over social media going for their dreams and achieving them. I find it very inspirational. When your friends are doing it big and are happy. I'm impressed. When people just don't stop fighting for their goals.I'm impressed. Constantly positive people. I'm impressed. A guy in a suit. Intellectual free flowing conversation. People who secretly work hard and I find out or can see it. I'm impressed. Easy but meaningful conversations. When people have hobbies outside their busy lives. I'm impressed. Humble people. I love them. The list goes on.

Easily amused. I'm so distracted and all over the place with my words I don't even know what point I'm trying to make right now. But is anyone else as easily amused as me? I always find myself doing the goofiest laugh to the silliest things on TV or silly people on TV like the ones you'll find on Made In Chelsea or TOWIE. By the way I enjoy my weekly dose of Made In Chelsea. Don't get me wrong but don't judge me either. I laugh at their scripted misfortunes. Obviously I wouldn't laugh if it was serious. Come on. But it's literally the little things that will make me amused and I go with that because I think it's healthy. Follow my lead, don't let people make you feel stupid about what stupid things you find amusing, play it off the cool way. Shame I don't think I'm cool. But amuse yourself, go on.

Ah shoot distracted again moving on. 

Honestly don't know what I was trying to say when I started writing this. Ah well live and let live.

St Paul's Carnival 2014!

So (5/7/2014) was that time of the year again, carnival returned to the streets of St Paul's Bristol! Music blaring, heat sweltering, the smell of good food and the atmosphere of a crazy bunch of fun loving people. It was the only place to be on that Saturday. For me it was a great chance to see my friends who I hadn't seen in a while and I enjoyed it...until my feet started to hurt! But it was worth being there. What I always find interesting at St Paul's Carnival is watching what everyone, especially the ladies turn up, TURN UP in. Mostly you will find that most people will incorporate the colours of their country's flags into their choice of outfit...and sometimes lack of it.

I went for a little bit of inspiration from Africa, I am African, more specifically I am proudly Zambian. I remember a while back I asked my mum to buy me some traditional fabric when she visited Zambia. We call this fabric 'chitenge' and so she got me some. The fabric has been packed away for years, as it was only just over a year ago that I found my passion for sewing and making clothes.I'm glad I had the fabric as I'd had a busy week with working full time and then returning to my bartender job the night before fest (the carnival) so hadn't put much thought into what I was gonna wear and honestly I (us girls always say this even when our wardrobes are over-flowing) didn't have anything to wear and didn't have time to get anything. So when I eventually got up on the Saturday afternoon, with plans to meet my friends at 4:30pm and I was in a different city (let alone a country - they were in England, I was in Wales) and tired, I decided to sew together a little ensemble! Talk about timing. Timing...I have none. Anyway I was very successful and was happy with the turn out in the time I had! If you're intrigued in what I do mainly for my hobby check out my instagram: chipfashion

Some fun moments at fest were captured and so was the matching outfit I was wearing #OOTD #chipfashion #summertime #friends #carnival

Say it to yourself, write it down, maybe you'll listen to yourself.

Us women though. So many issues that shouldn't necessarily be there, but they are there. The last few days has got me thinking. I'm a woman but why do we over-think everything? Am I over-thinking what I'm about to say? Maybe. Very possibly. But I shouldn't. I really shouldn't and I definitely shouldn't be worrying. We have countless worries that we carry about our day making our days less fun and more stressful than they should be.

We, not all of us but some of us, sometimes feel the need to feel appreciated, accepted or complimented and validated all the time (can I just say that I don't take compliments well but I'll always say thank you, something I've learnt to just say and get on with now) but others feel the need to have this said to them everyday to make them feel some sense of self, whatever that may be. Where is our self confidence and self assurance? And why do we feel that only when someone else gives us a compliment is when our self-esteem rises? This can be as result of poor confidence and for the purpose of this post, poor body confidence. Not having confidence will affect our relationships.

I was trying to work if through every obstacle me and my family have been through, whether my mother has made it a point for us kids, her children to always be strong and confident in ourselves? I find that strong-minded women have a person in their life who has always told them that they are worth something and that they should not think otherwise. Because of this they ooze self-confidence and self-belief. And yes she has, maybe in not so many words but basically if you're not strong-minded how are you gonna make through the toughest times, the most challenging times? Not being strong minded, or strong willed in all aspects of life can bring insecurities within ourselves and affect our thoughts with that how we see ourselves tends to be at the top of a list of insecurities.

Anyway I've gone off track a bit but my point when I started writing this was to say that some women, including myself, don't have the confidence we should have in our bodies. I see/hear a lot of women complain about their bodies and I always wonder why? Because to me they have great bodies. I love being naked in the comfort of my own room but if I had a significant other, having that confidence would be an issue. Surely they'll like you regardless of what you think your body looks like? I always get compliments for having a good body, you'd think this would help me in my body confidence but no. We just need to remember that the flaws that we see in ourselves are not usually noticed by others, it is all in the way we see ourselves. Why do you think they always say love yourself first? Because you have to in order to then love someone else. Because nobody wants or needs your insecurities thrown in their faces. You shouldn't need that constant reassurance. Be confident. This advice is as much for anyone as it is for me. Trust me.

In the last few days, I have enjoyed just learning to love my body as cliche (not sure this is the right term to use here) as it sounds. And you should do the same to because that's the body you have right now. I won't allow anyone to have to make me feel good about myself anymore, I have to do this myself and when complimented, take it with gratitude, it's just a bonus. What I'm really trying to say is don't strive to have a body like the next big celebrity or whoever you think you want to look like, they are born like that (but with the money celebrities have you can't even be sure anymore) but you are also born with what you have, work with it ladies.

Well hello!

I’ve been thinking to write a blog for a while now so I’m a little bit late at it all but I was apparently too busy before now, even though I now only just started working a full time job. You wanna know what I was doing to be too busy to write a blog? Nothing really but hustling, at home, in my bed. No I had uni, I had exams, both of which are finished now and I'm so happy but mainly I didn’t think (and still don’t think I have anything interesting to say or share) but lets see how this little situation goes. 

So the best thing to do now I guess is introduce myself in the random-est way possible, right. I'm Maggie, Mags, Chip. Hi there. Half the time I have no clue about a lot of things. I'm hopeless in front of the camera and always wonder wonder how others are so photogenic because I'll usually end up doing something stupid. My mum asked me why I always pull a face in most pictures. My answer in simpler terms,  I feel most comfortable that way. I feel like I can be pretty boring at the best of times but so much fun at the same time...! Get to know. There. I might have to update this lame introduction or make myself more interesting later on.

Anyway my main inspiration into why I want to join the blogosphere is because of fashion, fashion this fashion that (so original init) but I may just talk about anything that comes up that’s maybe of interest mainly to me probably. I have this little idea known as chipfashion for now. It kinda drove me to want start writing a blog. I guess I could share my fashion likes/sense with you all which I'd say (my fashion sense I mean) doesn’t make any logical sense if fashion does that I don't know but I’ll let you have an opinion on this one if you must. I wear what I want and half the time don’t even put a thought to it, it kinda just works for me. If I see something I like and I have the money to buy it, I most likely will and if not, I’ll try and make it! Which brings me to the next point about myself…I love to sew and try my hand at designing! I’ll show you more of that later and I’ll be adding more pictures as I hopefully make more stuff. I want to come up with more ideas first. For now I’ll keep it simple.

I’m currently at work but its not as busy for the next 15 minutes or so, so this is me keeping myself busy! Productive aren't I? And plus I wanna look like I’m typing really important stuff for when my boss walks past. I’m in the professional world now see. Bringing me to point 3, I don't like being too bored, it makes time go slower and this is the only time I would want time to speed up. By the way, I work in a science lab, you’d be surprised how you can actually get inspiration from a job in a lab to make stuff. A lot of what I do or think usually reverts back to how I can translate that into a clothing item and let me just say not everything works out as it does in my head. I always get so many ideas but my problem is presenting them properly, I get too excited too quick but that’s the fun of it.

I decided to name my blog Kosapo after a 2am phonecall with my mum and what it really means is perseverance.

But for now, duty calls!